Sometimes, we're just hit with a wave of loneliness, no matter what the external circumstances are, and then we're left wondering:
"Do I actually have people around me who understand me?" // "Do people actually care?" // "I literally have no idea why I'm feeling this way..." // "What's wrong with me?" // ........
When loneliness hits me, I usually don't even recognize it as loneliness. It just feels like a hollow pit suddenly sprouted inside of me, and boredom plagues my everyday. I have less of a desire to socialize, and nothing catches my interest as much. I then feel an inner "need" to find my passion, find my purpose, and when I'm not able to, despair starts to kick in...
This usually happens in moments when I have fewer distractions in life.
Loneliness is really just us feeling disconnected inside of ourselves, and us suddenly being aware of that feeling.
When I'm not connected to myself, - feeling safe and cozy and comfy inside of my inner space - I then get these "no one understands me" or "I'm all alone in this world" feelings...
It's always nice to remind myself that everyone feels this loneliness inside as well, all of us to varying degrees. No one is connected to themselves every minute. Take away the distractions, and most people will find themselves facing these same feelings.
If my inner world were nice and homey all the time, I'd likely always feel "at home" in my own skin. But doubts, worries, fears all make that space a little thorny sometimes.
Then, I project these feelings onto the outside world and think I need better friends, a better job, a better hairdo, a better life...
But when it comes down to it, all I need is to make my inner world a little more colorful, and then I'll feel more connected in the outer world as well.
Something I really enjoy doing when it comes to working on my inner world is visualization.
When I'm feeling the need to work on my inner space, I imagine myself in a world that looks very beautiful. I play music on my laptop to accompany this world, light a nice candle, and allow myself to relax to into it.
I don't always have access to a nice patch of #cottagecore grass or a pretty fantasy castle nearby. So visualizing these (or seeing these images on a screen), help me get to that feeling of calmness.
I imagine what I would smell, taste, see, hear, touch, and most importantly, enjoy. When I'm enjoying in that world, I feel more confident in my body, and then I feel like a feminine fairy with all the power in the world.
I then bring that feeling back into reality.
These places within the mind's eye are always accessible to us.
Entering these places reminds of how when I'm alone, I get to do and think whatever I want. No social norms to follow. No worries follow me there. Only a peaceful place for me to:
- process any pain inside of me (cry)
- feel relaxed in a world that is totally my own
- craft out my hopes and dreams and wants in this life, and feel deserving of these dreams in that peaceful state
- boost my self-confidence and feel like the protagonist of an entire inner world, with every character and element there to support me
One thing that I've learned to let go of is the expectation, or even desire, for people around me to fully understand me. It's just not possible. No one understands another person fully... we don't even understand ourselves fully. We are each so complex, with an infinite number of layers. All we can do is focus on exploring our own layers.
There is so much magic to find inside of ourselves - our psyche, our inner humor, our inner voice, our hidden talents...
The more we see ourselves and appreciate what's inside, the more connected to we feel to ourselves and everything & everyone around us.